The good, the bad, and the cheap.

Buying your own Christmas/birthday present is pretty damn trippy.

2007-10-28T09:38:30Z

But oh, does it feel so good, especially when it's done at five in the morning.

SO DAMN GOOD.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-08-20T20:44:00

2007-08-21T00:45:33Z

I dreamt I won a 125000 dollar boat on the Wheel of Fortune last night.

I was genuinely disappointed when I woke up and realized I didn't have my boat.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-08-11T04:35:00

2007-08-11T08:56:05Z

Gather around kiddos and kiddettes! I've got a story of crazy people to tell you all, and it happened right on my doorstep! Read this one, it's actually slightly intriguing, for a change.

So, all right, it's Wednesday morning, about... almost 7:40ish I'd say. About time to leave for work, you know, you don't want to be late. You can do about anything with a temp job and not get fired. You could step on all of the clothes. You could set the fire on factory. But if you are late, your supervisor will murder you.

But of course, this isn't about me being late at all. Fact of the matter is, I got to work right on time. But this is about something a little more sinister, I would say. Sinister in a sort of stupid way, but still.

So my mom and I are walking out the door, running just a little bit late I'd say, when we spot something sitting on the front porch just a foot or so away from the door. In fact, we see a couple somethings.

-A yellow rose still in the plastic. It's pretty wilted and starting to turn brown at this point. Obviously whoever was trying to swoon us was showing a bit of a halfhearted effort.
-A 22 ounce Budweiser can. Well, I can't quire remember how big the can was, since I was never all that amazing at keeping track of cans and how much fluid they can hold. But either way, it was pretty big, and obviously just gotten out of the freezer, since it was covered in condensation and all what not.
-A full pack of Berries and Cream Starburst. Unfortunately, since I had no clue where it had been, I did not try and eat it. I still crave some Starbursts right now, though.
-An empty bag of Doritos spicy Buffalo Ranch Doritos. Between the Budweiser can and the Starburst, it was the only thing that had been opened, and everything had been eaten at that.

TO BE CONTINUED

kingcheapskate @ 2007-08-08T17:49:00

2007-08-08T21:49:11Z

Sometimes I catch myself reading all of the different language choking hazard warnings on some of the bags at work. I should have tried to keep one of them so that I could learn how to say "This bag is not a toy and should not be kept around children in twelve languages."

Even ripping clothes out of bags can be a linguistic learning experience!

Answer the questions by clicking the "Random Article" button on Wikipedia.

01. What are you afraid of?
Susan Glazebrook. Damn you New Zealand, and all of your court of appeals judges as well.

02. What would you take with you on a deserted island?
Harkirat Singh, a retired general from the Indian army. He could regale me with stories of war and help make the time pass faster.

03. What would you want for a wedding present?
Arthur Gnohéré, a French soccer player. Totally superior to a bread maker. Totally.

04. What do you worship?
Paul Taylor, a mixed martial artists. I obviously worship is 8-1-1 record. Oh yeah.

05. What is your secret fetish?
Renucleation. Mmm, replace those unfertilized ovum nuclei. Replace them, baby.

06. What will you dream about tonight?
The U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit. It's so much superior than circuits 1 through 8.

07. What would you buy if you had the money?
Wen Tianxiang, who is apparently the best Chinese duke ever. I'm serious, check the article. Everyone loves this man.

08. From what subject would you write a book about?
Rockley Wilson. He played Cricket. And I like his first name. ROCKLEY.

09. What do you collect?
Brahma Sutras. I'm not sure how you collect th starting point of a Hindu philosophical scripture, but I still try my best.

10. What does your best memory connect to?
Weightlifting at the 1904 Summer Olympics - Men's all-around dumbbell. I was there, and it was awesome. Trust me.

11. The most unimportant thing you can think of?
B.Kodur. It's a village in some district in India that I can't be bothered to remember.

12. What do you most preferably speak about?
Praziquantel. What can I say, I love a good anthelmentic. Gets those flat worms right out.

13. With which thing will/do you work with?
Glycoprotein Ib. It's a part of the platelets. That would actually be kind of cool to work with. Too bad I never took organic.

14. What always makes you laugh?
Yoshii, Okayama (Akaiwa). Oh, small Japanese towns never fail to make me crack up.

15. And cry?
Fool Around, the debut album of Rachel Sweet. It has a song called "Sad Song," it must be a tear jerker.

16. What was the first thing you saw when you woke up today?
Qualo and the Movement. My favorite political hip hop movement.

17. What have you got in your pocket?
General Mediterranean Holdings. Nadhmi Auchi may own it, but we all know that I'm really the one pulling all the strings.

18. What could replace you so that no one would notice?
Legoland (Game). Dude, no one would expect a Lego replica of me.

19. What were your first words?
Moigno (crater). Actually, Moigno sounds like something a baby could say. I mean, they would have no idea it's a crater, but I could imagine blurting it out. Even with the parenthesis.

20. What will you be buried with?
Ramón. From Ramón Gómez de la Serna to Ramon from the video game King of Fighters. All of them. My Ramón collection must die with me.

21. What have you got in the drawer of your bedside table?
Alcorn School District. Don't ask how.

22. What do you love the most in this world?
Caval opening. Of all of the hiatus in the human diaphragm, it is truly the greatest.

23. What would you write a song about?
Donald of Ogilvy

DONALD OF OGILVY
HE'S MY FAVORITE SAINT
DONALD OF OGILVY
A BAD SAINT HE AIN'T
WITH HIS DAUGHTERS
THE NINE HOLY VIRGINS
SINS ARE ALL
WHAT HE'S A PURGIN
DONALD OF OGVILY
HE'S MY FAVORITE SAINT.

24. What do you see from the window at this moment?
Islamization of knowledge. That's deep, man.

25. What are you in reality?
1170 in Ireland, manifested in human form, obviously.

That's was pointlessly awesome.

Also, RIP Ian, Ashley Ross, and Scott's LiveJournals. They weren't as awesome as mine, but bless their heart, their still tried.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-07-21T09:29:00

2007-07-21T13:33:01Z

I've noticed that I only really use this LiveJournal when I'm having trouble sleeping, don't want to sleep, or have slept so much that I don't need to sleep and consequently have decided to put off sleeping for the night.

Regardless, I am currently hacking up random pieces of lung tissue. I hope my sinuses decide to uninfect themselves come Monday, as I don't want to be sick for the first couple days of my job. I figure that if I get a job now I can goof off during my next semester. Because isn't college a far more conductive place for goofing off than home?

I think so.

And besides, I still need to have some cash set aside when the next Phoenix Wright comes out. Or at least a couple hundred, just to play it extra super duper awesome safe.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-07-13T21:33:00

2007-07-14T01:34:39Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2_I0EGhcB4

WHOA! TRAINS! LOTS AND LOTS OF TRAINS!

BIG TRAINS, SMALL TRAINS! LOOK AT ALL OF THESE TRAINS!

DOOM TRAIN, EVEN! TRAINING MONTAGES! WE ONLY HAVE THREE MORE DAYS TO TRAIN UNTIL THE WORLD ENDS!

Order now and get a free DVD of train singalongs! WITH MORE TRAINS!

kingcheapskate @ 2007-07-13T17:23:00

2007-07-13T21:26:23Z

You know, everytime I see a large blue car driving down the streets, I start to wonder where my old car is now.

Is it still out there, somewhere in the streets of Kentucky, Ohio, Indiana, where ever? Or has it been retired? If we were to meet again one day, would it even recognize me? If I were to see it being crushed under the wheels of a monster truck, would I feel a bitter tinge in my left ventracle? Ventricle? Or would I root for the monster truck?

Because I probably would root for the monster truck.

Cinnamath

2007-06-27T16:30:52Z

You can buy four miniature cinnamon buns at Burger King for a dollar.

You know what that means?

You can buy forty miniature cinnamon buns at Burger King for ten dollars.

Get what I'm saying?

kingcheapskate @ 2007-06-25T13:44:00

2007-06-25T17:44:52Z

I just found a nectarine with two stickers on it.

Two stickers.

Unfortuantely, it didn't taste like twice the nectarine. Quite the contrary, actually.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-06-07T17:26:00

2007-06-07T21:26:30Z

What does a zombie eat when it needs fiber?

kingcheapskate @ 2007-06-07T12:44:00

2007-06-07T16:45:21Z

So, kingcheapskate, your LiveJournal reveals...

You are... 7% unique (blame, for example, your interest in virtual flan) and 13% herdlike (partly because you, like everyone else, enjoy video games). When it comes to friends you are normal. In terms of the way you relate to people, you are wary of trusting strangers. Your writing style (based on a recent public entry) is conventional.

Your overall weirdness is: 27

(The average level of weirdness is: 27.
You are weirder than 61% of other LJers.)

Find out what your weirdness level is!

kingcheapskate @ 2007-06-05T09:04:00

2007-06-05T13:07:05Z

Good news: I have an internet connetion.

Not so good news: I don't have too much of an internet connection.

I'm probably going to be going through terrible internet withdrawals by time I'm back. I'll probably spend twelve or so hours surfing the internet before I'll sleep for a couple days. Then I'll most likely forget everything that I learned while here.

Oops.

Gotta go, food time.

Latar!

kingcheapskate @ 2007-06-03T10:31:00

2007-06-03T14:34:00Z

In case anyone needs me during the next couple weeks, my new cell's number is...

859-991-7186

Hopefully I'll remember to keep it charged, but I probably won't.

Also, Phoenix Wright: Justice For All

I just can't get enough of that crazy hot blooded law action. But before I leave, I have two crappy jokes for you to chew on for the next couple weeks.

What noise does a bouncing aeroplane make?

BOEING! BOEING!

Why are the Phoenix Wright games rated T for Teen?

Because they contain OBJECTIONable content.

Ha ha, your lives won't be as awesome without me around.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-06-02T03:00:00

2007-06-02T07:15:54Z

My mom broke her foot yesterday.

Yesterday was her birthday.

Isn't that just screwed up?

Bad timing on her foot's part since I'll be out of town for the next two weeks. But still, that's just a plain crappy birthday present.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-05-31T19:34:00

2007-05-31T23:35:07Z

I don't trust octopi.

I guess I'm just a firm believer that invertebrates shouldn't be that smart.

It worries me for some odd reason.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-05-26T17:54:00

2007-05-26T21:59:05Z

ENVIA CHISTE AL SEIS SEIS QUATRO SEIS SEIS

ENVIA CHISTE AL SEIS SEIS QUATRO SEIS SEIS

PARA LOS CHISTES MÁS CÓMICO EN EL MUNDO

ENVIA CHISTE AL SEIS SEIS QUATRO SEIS SEIS

And this is why I watch the Spanish channel

kingcheapskate @ 2007-05-19T22:59:00

2007-05-20T03:01:21Z

So I was lying in my bed about four in the morning, kept up by a pretty nasty headache, my mind began to wander and I started to wonder...

If I had an evil twin, would he be good at math?

kingcheapskate @ 2007-05-17T02:03:00

2007-05-17T06:07:25Z

You know, I'm beginning to think that all of the really empty restaurants in Florence are all just mafia headquarters in disguise.

And that is why I will apply to all of them to rocket myself to the top of the underground crime circuit. I'm sure that my skills as a professional assassin will come in handy if I am hired to work at one of them. On top of that, I'd probably learn to cook stuff! I'd be part cook, part assassin, part linguist, all awesome.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-05-14T14:48:00

2007-05-14T18:48:31Z

I just had a dream in which I decided that I was going to be the Grinch for next Halloween.

If for some reasn I do decide to dress up for something for next Halloween... I'll probably keep thinking of dressing up as the Grinch.

Believe in Bidoof

2007-05-08T08:28:10Z

Say hello to the new face of everything right in this world.

The future is a warm, welcoming future.

The future is today. The future is now.

The future...

Is Bidoof.

All of you Slowpokes need to get with the next generation, you understand?

You get left behind, you get burnt.

We are in a time of great change in America. The stock market is at record highs and Spider Man 3 has just set shattered box office records, much like the way that Bidoof's vacant stare breaks through the apathy consuming America and replaces it with a fresh, warm feeling, the feeling of warm blankets washed with Tide® Simple Pleasures™ Vanilla & Lavender.

When I was a young lad, my grandfather told me to make as many contacts as I could. These words I lodged into my malleable youbg brain as I rushed headfirst into the business world, my heart full of dreams and my belly full of cheap Gas Station hot chocolate. I only had one possession in my pocket: A picture of Bidoof and twenty seven pieces of hot, warm, fried Gordon's Fishermam shrimp.

The first thing I did?

Walked into the CEO's office, kicked him in the face, and declared myself new overlord of Proctor and Gamble.

The first thing I did after I got out of jail six months later? I politely apologized to the CEO as I offered him a nice bribe so that he'd forget about what I had done a little bit quicker. Unfortunately he wouldn't accept my life savings of twenty seven dollars in Gamestop gift certificates; I guess that when you're at the top of the barrel you're just too good for bottom of the barrel bucks. I then went home and caught up on all the episodes of The Daily Show that I had missed while incarcerated. What can I say, I love my Daily Show almost as much as I love oxygen.

Maybe more.

Anyway, what did I learn from this little transgression?

Well, obviously, if you want to make buddies in the business world, wanton violence isn't really the best method.

Most fun method? Yes.

Best? Not so.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-05-06T18:55:00

2007-05-06T22:56:31Z

http://youtube.com/watch?v=bOu3rcWEjZw

Some of the best video game bosses ever, including fried food, a mummy that throws toilet paper, a pile of rotting bones, and zombies that dance for you... then die.

Now this is how video games should be... Totally senseless.

Spanish Lit was tragic before tragic was cool.

2007-04-30T22:59:24Z

For some reason, I found it unsettling that my Spanish Lit professor chose to make the last essay on my Spanish Lit final an analysis of a poem about the eventuality of death. REAL LIGHT NOTE TO END THERE YEAR ON THERE PROFESSOR.

Now, whether or not the choice was purposeful I can't say; she probably just chose the poem since it was short enough for an exam, but still...

That said, if I learned anything about Spanish literature this semester is that it's pretty much an accurate way to measure how Spain is doing at the time. If the literature is romantic and full of pirates and romance and adventure chances are that Spain is totally owning the crap out of every other country in the world. If the literature is cynical and bitter chances are Spain isn't doing so well at all.

I'll probably catch up on my Spanish literature (and American, British, and a little bit of Italian as well for that matter) over the summer, since the tiny little samples were read enough to get me curious. I pawned off the book anyway, since I can just check out most of the books anyway, and since I really needed money. I got 20 bucks for a 46 buck book and I bought some drinks and a slushie with it. I was happy.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-04-29T20:16:00

2007-04-30T00:16:34Z

http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf

It may be kinda old, but everytime I watch this part I crack up.

I hope it makes you crack up too.

kingcheapskate @ 2007-04-29T18:12:00

2007-04-29T22:12:39Z

Today I have seen the best juxtaposition of words since CALAMARI and BACON....

PORK and COD.

I mean, I'm sure they weren't serving some sort of crazy PORK and COD mix, but still, seeing those two words so close made me smile.

THAT SAID

It amuses me that there are more people outside on finals week than there are on... everyother week.

It's probably because there aren't any pesky classes to deal with.

Three days and I get my own room back... I mean, I'll miss my roommate, he's a cool person, but I really hate having to turn off my lights so he can go to sleep. Real (lazy) men sleep with the lights on!

CALAMARI
BACON
TOGETHER AS ONE
CALAMARI
BACON
A UNION OF FUN

kingcheapskate @ 2007-04-26T19:45:00

2007-04-26T23:47:14Z

I was at the commons cafeteria place yesterday because they were serving tapas, and I figure it is my duty as a student of Spanish to eat as much of the food of Spain as possible. Well, they were serving Calamari and Bacon.

I misread it as Katamari and Bacon. I don't know you, but I'd play the crap outta that game.